Why does chasing goals come with so much pain and frustration?
Why do so many people start, become disillusioned and stop, only to start again and repeat the process?
Why is every great spike of inspiration followed by an equally great valley of despair?
The real question is, why do we chase mirages and expect to catch them?
I’ve worked in fitness for most of my life. I’ve also worked in small business, including my own.
Everywhere you go, it’s the same shit.
People chasing illusions, particularly illusions of a future version of themselves that’s better than who they currently are.
But those illusion are never fulfilled. No amount of money is enough. No level of fitness is good enough. No empire is great enough. So with every illusion comes the despair of dissolution.
One doesn’t exist without the other, so as long as we’re chasing mirages, we’re also walking through the shadowing realm of despair.
But despite our constant cycle of illusions and despair, we carry on. Afterall, we don’t want to remain ordinary. We despise ordinary. We’re on a quest to become special.
So we find someone who we think is special. A coach, trainer, expert, master, etc. And they become a screen for us to project our insecurities.
They’re special, so they can teach me to be special.
Until we realize, fuck, they’re ordinary too.
At this point we either realize being ordinary is just fine, remarkable in it’s own way. Or we find another coach, or master to project our insecurities on, and continue the cycle.
But what if, instead of chasing mirages, you settled into yourself as you are?
Instead of always ‘becoming,’ you focused on ‘being?’
Instead of trying to become special, you celebrated being ordinary?
Instead of projecting to some future, better self, you pulled all your awareness back to the time and space you occupy right now, and allowed yourself to be at peace with that?
What would be so bad about that?
You may think you’d become complacent. You’d never progress, or accomplish anything. Taken to an extreme, you would just sit there until you die.
But you might be surprised what you’d accomplish when you shed the burden of expectation.
When you stop chasing mirages, you stop the cycle of illusion and the despair that comes with it.
And without that despair, you’re free to celebrate you, just as you are. And a funny thing happens when you switch into that celebration.
You take care of your body: eating nutritious food and exercise becomes easier. It’s not a path to a future, better you. It’s a celebration of you, right now.
You follow your bliss, and find joy in the work you decide to take on. Again, because it’s in celebration of you, as you are, instead of a path to a better, future version of you.
The great deception is that you’re not quite enough….yet….but by chasing this mirage or that, you can become it.
But as soon as you switch from ‘becoming’ to ‘being,’ the celebration has begun.
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